What's the Two Do?
by Calliope-Elven-Agent
Summary: COMPLETE! The characters of the Matrix make the greatest mistake they have ever made: (Next to Morpheus' hiring of Cypher) Unplugging a teenage nutcase named Danae. Little do they know what they will unlesh
1. Every Story has it's beginning

~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Whew! I'M BACK!!!!! Alrighty, folkz, zis story haz gone zrough vone of zose... Extreme Makeover... thingz.  
  
We done got ourselves a new heroine, total re-formatting, and a brand- spankin'-new character on the way, dedicated to I_AM_A_S.O.B.S. :-) She ain't gonna appear fo' a while... I'll keep y'all in suspense. :)  
  
So, go back, re-view and re-review (lol!), tell me where I stink, and let's get goin'!!!!!  
  
Und zis story IZ dedicated to Ieva, for all ze laughs she gave uz in 'A Simple Misunderstanding'.  
  
Oh. Almost forgot: I don't own the Matrix. I only own my Evenstar pendant, the clothes upon my back, and a fish. Phooey.  
  
Chapter 1 Every Story has it's Beginning...  
  
The scene opens on Danae, sitting at her computer, screaming at it because it's not doing what she wants. Suddenly, the screen goes blank. Her eyes bulge in frustration.  
  
'Hey! Stupid, Fat Computer!!!!' She screeches. She reaches for the restart button, but... Small letters seem to type by themselves on the screen.  
  
"Wake up, Danae." Our heroine stares in shock.  
  
'Huh?'  
  
She rubs her eyes and takes a second look. She scoffs.  
  
'Sheesh. I'm already awake.' The letters disappear, only to reveal a new message. Now they read: Oops, wrong line.  
  
Danae just sits and stares. Another message appears: The Matrix has you.  
  
Danae wrinkles her forehead. 'Dude...' she whispers.  
  
The letters type out: What?  
  
'What?'  
  
There is a pause. "Never Mind." Say the letters.  
  
Danae stares hard at the computer. 'Since when did you learn to talk to me?'  
  
"Because I'm a human. Duh."  
  
'No you're not. You're a computer that's going weird.'  
  
"No I'm not."  
  
Danae's eyes bulge.  
  
'AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! DADDY!!!! MY COMPUTER'S NOT A COMPUTER!!!!!'  
  
"Shut up."  
  
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
Her father's voice booms out over her racket: QUIET!!!!!!!!  
  
Danae sniffles pitifully.  
  
"Now, pay attention," Say the letters.  
  
'I already am.'  
  
"Thank you."  
  
'You're welcome.'  
  
"Just shut up and listen."  
  
She pouts and shuts up.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
'You're welcome.'  
  
"RRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG..."  
  
Our heroine snickers.  
  
There is another pause. Then...  
  
"Follow the purple rabbit."  
  
Danae just sits and stares  
  
There is yet another pause. Then, one more message appears: Oops. G2G. Agents are trying to capture me. TTYL!  
  
Danae still sits and stares. The screen goes back to normal.  
  
'Well, that was an eye-opener, and no mistake!'  
  
LATER...  
  
Danae is riding her bike to school. Suddenly, a very cool shiny looking car comes up. A woman in black leather opens the door.  
  
'Get in.' She says.  
  
Danae starts.  
  
'Wha-? Hey, don't think I'm gonna fall for that one. I aced my stranger danger lessons back in the first grade.'  
  
Trinity grabs Danae and drags her in  
  
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
'Shut up'.  
  
Danae kicks Trinity  
  
'Calm down!' Cries Trinity, nursing her shin  
  
'No.'  
  
'Yes.'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Yes.'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Apoc, just start driving!'  
  
The man at the wheel just starts driving, and Danae wails at the top of her lungs.  
  
An hour later.... We find Danae still wailing at the top of her lungs  
  
Trinity shouts over the racket: 'We're here and I'm not deaf!'  
  
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! !!!!!!' wails Danae.  
  
Inside an old hotel, they are greeted by a mysterious Man, dressed in black.  
  
'Hello, Dana.'  
  
Danae scoffs.  
  
'It's Dan-A-ee! Greek. She was the girl whose father invented over-seas shipping. Very cool sounding. You're not very smart!'  
  
The man frowns. 'Thank you,' he replies, sarcastically.  
  
'You're welcome.'  
  
'Just Shut up and listen.'  
  
Danae shuts up reluctantly  
  
He smiles. 'Thank you.'  
  
'You're w-'  
  
'QUIET!!!!!!!!'  
  
'Okay...'  
  
'Ahem. As you no doubt have guessed, I am Morpheus.'  
  
'Actually, I didn't guess that you're Morpheus.'  
  
'Whatever. Do you feel at all like Alice? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?'  
  
'Errr... Noooo... And speaking of rabbits, what ever happened to the 'Follow the purple rabbit' thing?'  
  
'The author got bored of that concept.'  
  
'Oh.'  
  
'Anyway...' He digs through his pockets, brining out everything from Kleenex, to Tic- Taks, to a safety pin. Finally, he finds what he was searching for. He smiles triumphantly, shoving all the other junk back into his pockets.  
  
'Here are two pretty, shiny pills.'  
  
Danae recoils.  
  
'Oh, no,' She says, shocked.  
  
'I learned to never take drugs in the second grade.'  
  
'They're not drugs.'  
  
'Then what are they?'  
  
'Some weird thing in the movie. I dunno.'  
  
'And...?'  
  
'Pick one.'  
  
'-Huh?'  
  
'Just take one of the pills.'  
  
'And umm... what'll happen when I do?'  
  
Morpheus sighs.  
  
'If you take the Blue Pill you'll wake up in your bed not remembering any of this...'  
  
'Sounds nice.'  
  
'And if you take the Red Pill, you'll wake up in a pod of icky red goo with all sorts of nasty wires plugged into you, and be stuck with us for the rest of your life.'  
  
'...Okaaay...'  
  
There is more pausing.  
  
'Well? Red or Blue?' Asks Morpheus finally  
  
'Blue.'  
  
'No! You can't pick blue!!'  
  
'You said I had a choice.'  
  
'Okay, let's rephrase my earlier explanation. If you take the Blue Pill you will remain enslaved for the rest of your life, and if you take the red pill you'll become free. Better?'  
  
'i.e. I'm in a no-win situation.'  
  
'Exactly. Now. Red or Blue.'  
  
Danae swallows both  
  
Morpheus jumps, shouting:  
  
''Hey! Cheater!'  
  
Danae merely grins smugly  
  
'Soooo...'  
  
All of a sudden, our heroine crumples to the floor, fast asleep!  
  
'APOC! SWITCH! TRINITY! GET IN HERE!' Shouts Morpheus.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. The Crew of the Neb

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The Crew of the Neb.  
  
The afore named people run into the room.  
  
'What??'  
  
Morpheus points at Danae and moans: 'She took BOTH. Now look at her!'  
  
All look at Danae, who is curled up asleep on the floor sucking her thumb and mumbling something about Orlando Bloom  
  
'Weird.' Switch muses.  
  
'Yup,' Is all Apoc can find to say  
  
Danae wakes up suddenly  
  
'Hey! Now what?' She asks.  
  
'We unplug you. Come on.'  
  
They take her into the 'Unplugging room'  
  
'Take a seat. Try and relax.'  
  
Danae sits down cautiously and gets the sticker-thingies stuck on her  
  
'Errm... can I ask you a question?'  
  
Morpheus seems to ignore her question.  
  
'Have you ever had a dream, Danae, that you were so sure was real?' he asks.  
  
Danae rolls her eyes.  
  
'Uh, I said, Could I ask you a question, not you ask me!'  
  
'You're spoiling the melodrama.'  
  
'Yup. I'm pretty good at doing that!'  
  
She looks at the cracked mirror, which seems to heal itself.  
  
'Hey, cool!'  
  
Her arm goes out, she touches it, it creeps up her arm  
  
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
Morpheus yells into his cell phone.  
  
'Now Tank! Now!'  
  
'...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
we are sucked into her scream, drawn into the HUMAN PLANT.  
  
*melodramatic music*  
  
Danae's eyes bulge out of her head.  
  
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' she wails.  
  
Her hand goes up, she feels that her hair is gone  
  
'...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
She looks back down, and sees all the nasty wires plugged into herself  
  
'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
Our heroine sees the spider-machine-unplugger thingy come at her  
  
'I'M DEAD!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
With a whoosh, she is sucked into the waste-pipe  
  
'WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!'  
  
She faints, to wake up in a dirty metal room, with Morpheus standing over her.  
  
'Welcome to the real world, Danae.'  
  
'BUT WHY'S MY HAIR GONE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?'  
  
'Rest, Danae. The answers are coming.'  
  
Danae snatches the hat Morpheus is wearing and slams it down on her head  
  
'Hey!'  
  
'If you gimme some kinda pill that makes me lose all my hair, you can afford to lose just your hat and not your life.'  
  
The Next Morning...  
  
Morpheus comes into Danae's room.  
  
'Good morning, Danae. Did you sleep?'  
  
Danae doesn't move. Her eyes are tightly shut  
  
'Ugg. Leeme 'lone.' She grunts  
  
'No. The readers are getting bored. Come on.'  
  
'Humph.'  
  
'This is my ship, The Neb.'  
  
'The "Neb"? Weird name.'  
  
'Yeah. The Author can't figure out how to spell the whole name.'  
  
'So I'm stuck with 'Neb'?'  
  
'Yep.'  
  
'Oh.'  
  
'This is my crew. That's Trinity...'  
  
'You mean Kidnapper.'  
  
'I acted on Morpheus' orders.' Replies Trinity smugly  
  
'Ahem. Here's Switch...'  
  
'You're not very pretty.'  
  
'Who asked you?' Switch says, affronted.  
  
'I did.'  
  
'... Mouse...'  
  
'I can see where the name comes from.'  
  
'Thank you.' Mouse said sarcastically.  
  
'You're Welcome.'  
  
'Don't start that one again. This is Cypher...'  
  
'Dude. You look like someone who is about to betray your leader and kill all your friends.'  
  
Cypher grins. 'Ironically, that's not too far from the truth.'  
  
'What truth?'  
  
'That there is no spoon.'  
  
'O-kay...'  
  
'...Tank and his big brother Dozer.'  
  
'What's with all these names? Can't say much for your parent's intelligence levels.'  
  
'...And that's Apoc.'  
  
Danae's eyes go ve-ery big. A grin spreads over her face 'Hel-lo handsome!!!'  
  
Apoc just stares.  
  
All of a sudden, Neo bursts into the scene, shouting:  
  
'Hey! I thought that I was the handsome guy around here! You should have a crush on ME!'  
  
'Yeah, but the Author doesn't think so. She likes Apoc.'  
  
'Some people have no taste.'  
  
Don't I know it,' moans Danae  
  
Morpheus plants a hand on her mouth. 'Shut up. You're lowering his morale.'  
  
Danae bites his hand, which is hastily removed.  
  
'Why would I care?' she scoffs  
  
'Because I'm the One!' pouts Neo  
  
'Cool. Then I'm the Two!'  
  
The crew of the Neb stares blankly.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. In the Construct

A/N: Am trying to get back to where I was ASAP... is taking while. Between this, that, more this, and yet more that, I'm swamped! Re-formatting stories is harder work than I anticipated... Well, not really. Guess I'm lazy.  
  
Sheesh. I'm going and telling complete STRANGERS that??? I do need serious help...  
  
Tell you what. I'm gonna get bookin' and finish re-formatting the other chapters, then there will be 2 chapter at once update tomorrow! :-) And the day after that...  
  
THE NEW CHAPTER!!!! Whoo-hoo!  
  
Teaser: the title is called: 'The Revenge of the Newly-freed mind!' DunDunDun!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 3  
  
In the Construct  
  
Morpheus places his hands on Danae's shoulders. 'Okay, I think it's time for you to realize the horrific truth.'  
  
Danae gulps. 'Uh-oh.'  
  
'This will feel a little weird.'  
  
They plug her in.  
  
Danae rubs the back of her head  
  
'A LITTLE weird???? That hurt!'  
  
'This is the Construct.'  
  
Danae gasps 'WHOOPEE!!! MY HAIR'S BACK!!!'  
  
She dances around the Construct in glee  
  
'As I was saying, this is the Construct.'  
  
'You already said that.'  
  
'You're been living in a dream world, Danae.'  
  
Danae merely studies her nails  
  
'That's nice.'  
  
'Are you even paying attention?'  
  
Danae looks up 'No.'  
  
'Just shut up and let me be melodramatic. Now. You believe it to be the year 2004, when it's actually somewhere around 2204.'  
  
'Then... I should be dead.'  
  
'The machines took over the world. Then they plugged all the people into a power plant, and made them into batteries. Now humans are no longer born, but grown. And the Matrix was written by the Architect to keep us under control.'  
  
'...And your point is...?'  
  
'Now you're supposed to have all sorts of hysteria and trauma.'  
  
'I am?'  
  
'The Wat... Wat...'  
  
'The Wat?'  
  
'The guys, the brothers who wrote the Matrix. Once again, The Author can't spell the name.'  
  
'I thought you said that the Architect wrote it.'  
  
'The Matrix isn't real.'  
  
'There is no Matrix?'  
  
'Yeah.'  
  
'Then what's all this about?'  
  
'...You know what... scratch everything I've just said.'  
  
'...Right... Can I go home now?'  
  
'No. You have no home now.'  
  
'I...don't...?'  
  
Suddenly, she feels separation anxiety, and sniffles  
  
' ...Mommy...'  
  
'Oh come on, it's not so bad... now that you're with US, we can teach you Algebra in 5 seconds instead of a whole year.'  
  
'Nice!'  
  
'Exactly. And you can learn Kung Fu.'  
  
' Oooooo! VE-ERY nice!'  
  
'And then you can go back into the Matrix and kick some Agent behind.'  
  
'I thought you said the Matrix isn't real.'  
  
'It is.'  
  
Danae cocks an eyebrow.  
  
'Forget it. It's time for your training.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	4. Danae's Training

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
Danae's Training  
  
Our heroine finds herself once again sitting in the weird Plugging-in-chair- thingy. Tank is sitting nearby, sorting through tings that look like miniature floppy-disks. He looks up at Dan.  
  
'Okay, so we're supposed to start with all of these operation programs first...' he says  
  
'Something's telling me you're not gong to though.'  
  
'Exactly. How 'bout something a little more fun?'  
  
'...Uhh...sure...'  
  
Tank apparently finds the disk he was looking for.  
  
'Combat Training.'  
  
A huge grin lights up our heroine's face  
  
'Ohh yeah!'  
  
Tank loads Danae up  
  
'Whoo-hoooo!!!'  
  
'Hey, Mikey, I think she likes it!'  
  
Danae makes a face.  
  
'Umm, question.'  
  
'Yeah?'  
  
'If you're from the 'Real World', and you've never been inside the Matrix, then how do you know that dumb joke?'  
  
'Didn't you ask that the first time you saw the Movie?'  
  
'Yeah. I still wonder.'  
  
'So, now on to those boring operational programs.'  
  
'Aww, man!'  
  
10 Hours Later...  
  
Danae dances around the Neb singing: I know Kung Fu!! I know Kung Fu!!!!  
  
Dozer mumbles to Switch  
  
'Does EVERYONE we free say that?'  
  
'Seems that way.'  
  
Morpheus looks down at Danae.  
  
'Good. Then show me.'  
  
In the Sparring program...  
  
Our heroine and the man who calls himself Morpheus are standing in, well, the Sparring program.  
  
(A/N: Well? What did you expect? Hobbiton or something???)  
  
Danae looks around.  
  
''Soooo... Why are we in this dorkey looking meditation room thingy?'  
  
'This is the spar-'  
  
WOMP!!!  
  
We see Danae standing triumphantly over Morpheus, who is unconscious.  
  
'Hehe. You like pain? Try wearing a corset!'  
  
On the Neb's main deck...  
  
'I don't believe it.' Gasps Mouse  
  
Tank speaks into his headset: 'Umm... Danae?'  
  
'Yeah?' comes her voice through said headset  
  
'That's cheating.'  
  
'So? Pirate!'  
  
Back inside...  
  
Morpheus wakes up, suddenly resuming his annoying-know-it-all-philosophy- teacher pose  
  
' -ring Program. It's designed...'  
  
Danae assumes cool Kung Fu pose  
  
'Whoo-ya!'  
  
'You asked for it.'  
  
Morpheus also assumes a cool Kung Fu pose  
  
'Hay-ya-wha!'  
  
*Cool Music: DumDumDum!*  
  
On the Neb...  
  
Everyone stands around the view screens, Oooo-ing and Ahhh-ing  
  
Inside...  
  
Danae suddenly screams at the top of her lungs:  
  
'AYE!!! AVAST!!!'  
  
Morpheus drops his cool Kung Fu pose in confusion, and Danae merely knocks him out again. Tank's disembodied voice suddenly boom out of nowhere:  
  
'TIME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
Our heroine pouts.  
  
'Phooey. It was just starting to get fun!'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	5. A Crush and some Agent Training

A/N: Sorry about there not being two chapters yesterday. I had only an hour on the computer, and was kinda crunched for time... O.o Anywho, here we go! :)  
  
Anyone who reviews gets free Apoc poster!!! :-P  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 5  
  
A crush and some Agent Training  
  
It is nighttime. Neo is sitting alone staring at the Matrix. Suddenly, someone places a cube of Ice down his shirt. Our heroine smugly watches Neo dancing around, yanking at his shirt, trying to get it out. She snickers.  
  
'Why do you always pick on me?' Neo moans.  
  
'Because you're the One.'  
  
'And you're the Two?'  
  
'Yup.'  
  
Neo finally manages to get the Ice out.  
  
'So... what's the Two do?'  
  
Strangely, Danae starts rolling on the floor laughing at that...  
  
'Heehee, I love that! The two do!' she screeches.  
  
Neo stares down at her, puzzled.  
  
'You're very... easily... amused...aren't you?'  
  
Danae slowly calms down.  
  
'Yeah. I was laughing when I saw you running like an ape at the beginning of the movie.'  
  
Neo suddenly assumes an offensive pose.  
  
'Hey! When have I ever run like an ape?'  
  
'You sure did then!'  
  
Neo is speechless with fury! Just when things start to looks really bad:  
  
Apoc comes in.  
  
'Cut it out Danae! You beat up our dear Morpheus physically, then you beat up the One mentally. Now what do you have to say for yourself?!'  
  
It seem that Danae has nothing to say for herself. She stares bug-eyed at Apoc.  
  
'Dan?'  
  
He gets no reply.  
  
'Hel-lo?'  
  
He tries waving a hand in her face, but she still stares at him, bug-eyed. Apoc gives up, and leaves muttering.  
  
Danae stares after him, heaving a huge sigh. Neo shakes his head. Surprisingly, he finds Danae turning on him!  
  
'Shut up!!' she cries  
  
'Huh?'  
  
'You scared him away!'  
  
Neo just stares dumbly ay her.  
  
'Question. Does the One have to be really dumb?' says Danae  
  
'Dumb and Pretty.'  
  
'Not like my Apoc...intelligent and manly...' she sighs  
  
Neo mumbles to himself 'I may be dumb and pretty but... Oy!'  
  
Next morning...  
  
Morpheus again intrudes on Danae's sleep  
  
'Dan?'  
  
She opens an eye  
  
'That happens to be a guy's name. I do not appreciate being called that.'  
  
'But Apoc called you that and you didn't object...'  
  
'THAT'S different.'  
  
'How?'  
  
'Girl stuff.'  
  
'Oh.'  
  
There is a pause.  
  
'So what do you want?' asks Danae  
  
'Time for you to run through another training program.'  
  
She makes a face  
  
'Aww, man! I've been through 43 so far, don't I know enough Kung Fu to beat up any Agents, whatever those are???'  
  
'You've got One more to go.'  
  
Danae turns toward us 'Okay, Matrix fans, write that down. A newly freed mind must go through 44 training simulations before he/she can go back inside the Matrix.'  
  
'Who says?' asks Morpheus, shocked  
  
'I say.'  
  
'But I don't think that's true!'  
  
'Then why did you just tell me that I've gone through 43 training simulations, and I've got one more? How long has it been since grade school... letssee... that would be... 44! Wow! I'm so smart!!!'  
  
'Stop being such a know-it-all!'  
  
'I could say that of you.'  
  
'Oh, just shut up and come on!'  
  
Danae reluctantly follows Morpheus out of her room  
  
In the Main deck...  
  
'Alrighty, Dan has just got the Agent training program to go through...' mumbles Mouse to himself.  
  
'So, what happens for girls in there?' asks Dozer  
  
'Well, typically, Johnny Depp shows up...  
  
Here he grins evilly.  
  
' ...But I've got something... special planned for Dan.'  
  
Upon hearing that, the whole crew of the Neb gather around the view screens, hoping for vengeance.  
  
In the Agent Training Program...  
  
'The Matrix is a system, Danae. And that system is our enemy. When you're inside, what do you see-...' Morpheus drones on and on... But Danae isn't listening. She's off window shopping.  
  
'...have to understand, Danae, that most of these people...'  
  
Suddenly, he realizes that Dan isn't following him.  
  
'GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY!!!!!'  
  
Danae pouts.  
  
'Now, look over there.' Morpheus instructs  
  
Danae turns, only to see Apoc walking by, smiling at her  
  
'My...Apoc!'  
  
On the Main Deck  
  
Everyone Sniggers  
  
'HEY!!!!! Who gave you permission to do that?????' shouts Apoc  
  
'I did.' Mouse replies smugly.  
  
Apoc glares at the whole crew, who are ignoring him, staring at the screen and snickering.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	6. The Revenge of the Newly Freed Mind!

A/N: Sorry I didn't get this up yesterday, but it's up today!!! :-D  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 6  
  
The Revenge of the Newly- freed mind!!!  
  
Danae is sitting in her room, pouting because she found out that the smiling Apoc was just some weirdo in sunglasses.  
  
'I don't care... my Apoc doesn't love me... I WANNA DIE!!!!!'  
  
Outside her room...  
  
Switch groans.  
  
'How long is she gonna be like this?? Mouse, this is all your fault!!!'  
  
'Are you blaming me??'  
  
'Yeah, I'm blaming you!'  
  
'You have no right!'  
  
'Oh yes I do!'  
  
'Look. See?' Mouse pulls out a small booklet and flips through. 'Ah-ha! See?'  
  
He points to Article 34298 "No Member of any ship shall blame said person. Any violators will be punished severely."  
  
'...And... who is "said person"?'  
  
'Me.'  
  
'YOU???'  
  
'Yeah. I got Morpheus to write that book up for me.'  
  
Switch groans again.  
  
'I need a vacation!'  
  
'Me too!' Mouse joins in  
  
Both go to complain to Morpheus about vacations long over due.  
  
A few hours later, after a long session of Catfights, the crew of the Neb set out to return to Zion. The journey is very short, thankfully, as Danae is becoming very hard to manage.  
  
Tank is yelling through the door to her room.  
  
'Come on out! You can't stay here alone!!'  
  
'OHH YES I CAN!!'  
  
Suddenly, Morpheus' voice booms out.  
  
'DANAE!!! GET OUT OF THERE AND COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!!'  
  
'You sound just like my daddy. That's the only reason I came,' was Dan's excuse.  
  
Later, our heroine is exploring the world that is Zion. Suddenly, she hears Morpheus and some random persons' voices.  
  
'You do know, Morpheus, that the code to Zion's mainframe must be changed once a year.'  
  
'Yeah, of course I know. I know everything!'  
  
'Of course. Anyway, here it is!'  
  
Dan hears a slip of paper being passed to Morpheus.  
  
'Keep it secret. Keep it safe.'  
  
A slow smile spreads over her face. Tonight: THE REVENGE OF THE FREED-MIND!  
  
That Night...  
  
Dan is carefully stalking Morpheus all over the city. He's been merely walking all over all day, no stops whatsoever. Weird. Of course, Morpheus IS weird to start with...  
  
Finally, he goes back to the Nebuchadnezzar.  
  
(A/N: Whoot! I spelled it! Go me!!!! :-D )  
  
Dan follows him in, nonchalantly.  
  
(More A/N: AAA! I spelled 'Nonchalantly' correctly, first try! REALLY Go Me!!! :-P )  
  
Morpheus walks into his room, and fishes the slip of paper out of his pocket. He then goes to find something to eat. Danae grins wickedly. She quietly creeps in, takes up the paper, slowly unfolds it, smoothes is out and reads...  
  
DUN-DUN-DUN!!! Cliffhanger!!!!!! :-D  
  
What is the code for the Zion maneframe??? What's Danae going to do with it??? Find out in the next exciting episode!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	7. A Code and Some Peeps

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 7  
  
A Code and some Peeps  
  
... "Code for Zion Mainframe as follows: AgentsDroolAndRebelsRule "  
  
'Well, that's a 9.0 on my weird-o-meter! Zion mainframe? What's a mainframe anyway???'  
  
She shrugs, disappointed that the paper didn't contain something valuable, like embarrassing information about Morpheus.  
  
The Next day...  
  
The crew of Neb (Don't expect me to spell it all the time!) leaves Zion, taking Danae in tow for some mysterious reason. On her asking what's so mysterious, Danae gets only grunts for answers. Figures.  
  
She sees much commotion going on, it seems that they are preparing for something... but what?  
  
'All right. We're going in' Danae hears Morpheus say to the others.  
  
Suddenly, she finds herself being dragged onto one of the chairs and being plugged in.  
  
Whoosh!!!  
  
The scene changes to some old dilapidated hotel.  
  
Morpheus appears.  
  
Then Trinity.  
  
Then Neo.  
  
Then Mouse.  
  
Then Switch.  
  
Then Cypher.  
  
Then Apoc.  
  
And Finally, Danae.  
  
They are all, except for our heroine, dressed in black leather and dark sunglasses. Danae is in blue denim jeans with a yellow T-shirt with no sunglasses. She is very upset about this.  
  
'Hey! Why do you guys get to wear cool expensive black leather and sunglasses and I don't?!'  
  
'Because you're the Two.' explains Neo smugly.  
  
'Sheesh. You're no fun.'  
  
'Follow me.' Morpheus directs.  
  
'But I want sunglasses!'  
  
'Tough.'  
  
Morpheus and Co., along with Danae, get into some SUV, with Cypher in the driver's seat. Our heroine finds herself scrunched in between Trinity and Mouse.  
  
'This isn't exactly very comfortable back here.' Danae complains.  
  
'We didn't pick vehicles just to suit your fancies,' Replies Mouse  
  
'Well, you should.'  
  
Suddenly, gunshots ring out! Danae screams and tries to hide, but it is to crowded in the backseat to move!  
  
'****!' shouts Neo  
  
Danae gasps  
  
'Cover your ears!!! This is a "G" fic!!!'  
  
Neo looks at her, puzzled.  
  
'I just said four "*"s! That's not swearing!'  
  
'It implies a swear word!!'  
  
'Well, I didn't mean it to be!!!'  
  
'You guys are arguing when we've got three agents on our tails?!?!?! SHUT UP!!!' The rest of the SUV occupants screech  
  
By this time, Danae is able to see who is chasing them. Three imposing looking Agents on Motorcycles, firing at them with guns!!!  
  
'HOLD IT!!!' cries our heroine, 'Once again, this is a "G" fic!!! NO SHOOTING!!!'  
  
'Well, up the rating to "PG" then!!!' Neo shouts back  
  
'It's not a question on upping the ratings!! It's a simple matter of just where the bullets land that make this fic a "G" or "PG"! If they hit you, it's a "G". If it hits me or Apoc, it's a "R"!'  
  
'I thought we were arguing over "G" or "PG"!'  
  
'We are!!'  
  
'SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' booms Morpheus' voice  
  
Guns are handed out to all of the occupants, except to, you guessed it, our heroine.  
  
'Wha-? Where's my weapon??'  
  
'Here.' Morpheus digs in his coat pockets, and brings out...  
  
A Peep.  
  
'A PEEP?!?!?!? You expect me to fight with a **** Peep?!?!?!?!?'  
  
'No swearing!' reminds Neo.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Happy Easter...! Belated.  
  
Thanks to my Reviewers! Huggles and Apoc posters to all!! :P 


	8. I'm guessing you're all Related?

A/N: Thanks to all of my lovely reviewers; chapter 7 got the most reviews yet! :-) And I have a new person that this ficcy is also dedicated to. My wonderful older sister, who is my editor, critic, and personal cheering squad! Thanks! :-D  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 8  
  
I'm guessing you're all Related?  
  
The agents are coming closer and closer to the SUV, firing constantly, yet no bullets penetrate the walls or windows of the vehicle.  
  
'Ha!' Taunts Danae. 'You're worse shots than Storm-Troopers!!!'  
  
Maybe if she hadn't said that, it wouldn't have happened. Maybe not. In any case, a bullet DID hit the SUV, puncturing one of the tires! The SUV crashes into a building, but, being a "G" fic, none of the occupants are injured. They climb out, only to find, to their horror, the agents have Danae! One of them holds his hand over her mouth, while putting a gun to her head.  
  
'Now, if you'll kindly surrender, the young lady will not be hurt,' One of them said in a horrible fake American accent.  
  
(A/N: Sorry, but I really DO think he has the worst American accent... please don't kill me!!! I DO love him though!!!!! :-D )  
  
'No, she will not, if you surrender,' the other two echo.  
  
Danae thinks fast. Suddenly, she uses her old bite-the-hand trick, wheels around, and crams her Peep into his mouth.  
  
'Mmm... Bunny-Rabbit-Peep... my favorite!' he mumbles through the sticky sweetness.  
  
Danae turns and runs for it. She climbs up a fire escape and proceeds to jump from rooftop to rooftop.  
  
'Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!'  
  
Suddenly, she notices that there are more of those weirdoes following her! Twenty at least! They are gaining on her, coming faster and faster, until...  
  
She is surrounded.  
  
Not Good.  
  
But...  
  
Weird.  
  
They're all... the same.  
  
'Miss Barton!' all twenty of them say in unison, all with the same horrible fake American accent.  
  
It is...  
  
*melodramatic chord*  
  
'Soooo... I'm guessing you're all related?'  
  
A random Smith smiles smugly.  
  
'It is-'  
  
'-Inevitable.' Another finishes.  
  
'What is?' Asks our heroine, very much puzzled.  
  
'I dunno. I guess-'  
  
'-Our turning you into another-'  
  
'-one of me?'  
  
Danae cocks an eyebrow.  
  
'I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.'  
  
The multiple Smelronds all frown, confused.  
  
'-Means "NO".'  
  
Despite Danae's telling them 'No", the multiple Smelronds start advancing on Danae! It looks like our fic is coming to an abrupt ending; but then...  
  
(From atop a higher building than the one the drama is unfolding on)  
  
'Us, should we go help her?'  
  
'We don't know. Should we?'  
  
'We really hate how you leave all the decisions to us.'  
  
'Don't we know it. That's why we do it!'  
  
The Twins suddenly see that if they are going to act, they'd better do it now. Phasing through to the action, just to add a little more melodrama, they rush in, grab Danae, and run for it.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
The crew of the Neb is bewailing the loss of our heroine.  
  
'This is all your fault, Morpheus!'  
  
'Why blame it on me??'  
  
'Because you're the one who had her unplugged in the first place!'  
  
'Well, it was YOUR idea to come back here!!'  
  
This laying of the blame continues to go back and forth...  
  
Just then, the Author decided that it was time to end the chapter and leave her audience in suspense.  
  
:D  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	9. Officially Kidnapped

  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Officially Kidnapped  
  
During this debate, the twins rush Danae out of reach of the Agents, dash into their cool car, and take off at top speed. Danae blinks.  
  
'May I ask who in the name of heaven you two are?'  
  
'We're One.'  
  
'We're Two.'  
  
'No, no!' Danae says. 'NEO'S the One. I'M the Two. If you guys want to be more number people, then you can be the Three and the Four.'  
  
'We are One and Two. Not THE One and THE Two. What's the Two, anyway? Did the Oracle make some new prophecy?'  
  
'Whoa. Now there's an Oracle?? Where'd you dig it up from?'  
  
'She is a program... we didn't 'dig it up'.'  
  
'Okay. Now I'm totally confused. Where the heck ARE we going? And... -what- in- the- name- of- Gandalf's- pointy- hat- is- THAT thing?!? '  
  
This last question was directed towards a fearsome-looking gun thingy on the floor of the backseat.  
  
'You like it? Brand-new, we were going to take it for some testing, but-'  
  
'It's another... gun, then. Ack!!! Now I REALLY think it's time to make this fic a PG.'  
  
'The Author's considering it.'  
  
'Back to my other question... where the heck are we going?'  
  
'Ummm... Us, where ARE we going?' Two asks his brother  
  
'We don't know. Right now we're just cruising along at top-speed through the city with a million cops behind us for speeding and having a pointless conversation with some teenage Girl, and pretty soon this fic is going to turn Mary-Sue.'  
  
'Great insight,' Danae says coolly. 'But I think the author's a little above Mary-Sues'.'  
  
One starts to reply, but his cell-phone rings, and he answers it. Danae groans.  
  
'Great. Now I'm driving along with two weird (but very Cute...!) dudes that carry big guns, speed, and NOW talk on their cellphones while driving. Sheesh. HIGH time for PG.'  
  
'Change of plans.' One announces.  
  
'There was a plan?' asks Two.  
  
'There is now.' He turns to Danae. 'We are now officially kidnapping you.'  
  
Danae grins. 'Not that I'd MIND getting kidnapped by the Twins...! Kidnap away!'  
  
A/N: Sorry about not updating for a while... and for the short chapter. And, to get your tension up, I'm gonna let you know that the next chapter is a explanatory one with that Weird French Dude. Joy.  
  
You don't really think I could write a Matrix parody without having the heroine kidnapped by the Twins, do you??? :D 


	10. Weird French Dude

A/N: To make up for the long absence of updates, here's a new chapter!!! I'm on a roll! Go me! And if the last chapter stunk, it was because it was written in 5 minutes. I kid you not. I was kinda tight on time... Oh, yeah. And an announcement: Look for my newest fanfic creation, 'Indis' to appear in the LOTR fiction section soon. Yeah, I write more than parody.  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Weird French Dude  
  
A few hours later, they arrive at some very large, pretty-looking place.  
  
'Come on. He doesn't like to be kept waiting.'  
  
'Errm... may I ask who doesn't like to be kept waiting?'  
  
'You'll see.'  
  
They enter, and are greeted by Mr.'s Cain and Abel, looking very creepy.  
  
Danae grins. 'Oooooo! More twins! I love twins! Even creepy ones! Though, Elladan and Elrohir are my favorites, but even they don't compare to my Ap- '  
  
Here, our Heroine notices Persephone walking into the room.  
  
'Hey, um, Ma'am?'  
  
Persephone ignores Danae and turns to the twins.  
  
'Oh, no. You boys kidnap teenage girls too much, you know. It's becoming a bit of a bad habit.'  
  
'Not OUR fault. Blame all the Matrix fangirls. Mary-Sue fics and all, you know the drill.'  
  
'All right. You know the procedure. Take her to his office.'  
  
Danae begins to pout.  
  
'Before I'm goin' anywheres, you tell me what the heck is going on here!!! I wanna go back to my Apoc!'  
  
She gets no reply.  
  
'Hel-lo?? Earth to people, do you read me?'  
  
'We're aren't people. You should know that. You're a rebel.'  
  
'I am? Oh, yeah, I get it! I'm from the South, and-'  
  
'Not that kind of rebel!'  
  
Danae sighs.  
  
'Whenever I try and get some information, everything just gets worse and worse! WILL SOMEONE JUST TELL ME WHY I'M EVEN IN THIS SITUATION!?!?!'  
  
'Maybe I can help you, ma Chérie?'  
  
A new voice comes from one of the doorways. Danae turns to see a very weird French-y looking dude standing there.  
  
'Ewww! Icky! Get that weird dude outta here! I hate French accents!!!'  
  
'Ah, French, yes, yes. I love ze French, ze language...'  
  
Danae makes a face.  
  
'I now proclaim you an utter dork.'  
  
'Thank you, ma Chérie.'  
  
'And my name isn't 'ma Chérie'! It's Dan-a-ee!!!'  
  
'Ze Author doesn't like me, does she?'  
  
'Noooo way. I don't like you either.'  
  
'I zink I can explain all zis too you... if you will kindly settle down...'  
  
This remark was due to Danae's beginning to run around the room, trying to find an exit. She stops suddenly.  
  
'You'll explain... this to... me?'  
  
'Yes...'  
  
'I LOVE you!!! Okay, explain away!' Danae plops down in the middle of the carpet.  
  
'Well, it seems zat you were randomly selected to be 'freed' by zose idiot Rebels. Zen, zey 'freed' you from ze Matrix, using highly unusual methods, being, Forcible Freeing. Only used in ze most desperate circumstances. I don't know why zey thought it was so important to bring you out of ze Matrix so quickly, but I do know why zey brought you back. Ze Oracle said zat someone who proclaims themselves 'Ze Two', would be 'Ze Two'.'  
  
'And... what's to Two do?'  
  
Peals of laughter erupt from the Twins, who are rolling on the floor laughing.  
  
'Hee-hee! Ha! Ha! We love it!' One gasps. 'The Two-do!'  
  
'Ahem. As I was saying, ze Two is ze only one who can Free all ze Mary-Sues from ze Matrix.'  
  
'Meaning...?'  
  
'Zat zose idiot rebels will be swamped with annoying teenage girls, especially zat 'One' person. Zen, zey can no longer fight against meh, and I can control ze Matrix! Muahahahahahaha!!!'  
  
Danae rolls her eyes.  
  
'Look here, weird French Dude. I'm not freeing any stupid Mary-Sues, and I'm definitely NOT givin' you control of the Matirx. Now, can I go back to my Apoc?'  
  
'My name isn't 'Weird French Dude'. It's 'Ze Merovingian'. And you really don't want to leave.'  
  
'I don't?! Well, look here, 'Ze Merovingian'. You're freaky, your wife's freaky (I mean, how can she even WALK in that dress??), Your guards are freaky, and this whole place stinks of Wine!!!!! I. Want. Out. Now.'  
  
'Zen you want ze Agents to get you and ze code zat you know and use it to destroy 'Your Apoc?'  
  
Danae gasps. 'How could that destroy my... Apoc???'  
  
Our heroine is near hysterics!  
  
Mr. Merovingian grins evilly.  
  
'Well, you know ze code to ze Zion mainframe. Ze Agents know zis, and zey want it. So, zey want you. And if zey get it, zen all your little friends will be destroyed. Sink of Morpheus! You don't want HIM to get killed now, do you?'  
  
'Uh, yeah, actually, that doesn't sound like such a bad thing...' She grins evilly. 'But, um, what is this Code? Is it...' Her face lights up. 'Ohhhh! Yes! I remember! It's that scrap of paper that said-'  
  
'Don't! Don't give it to him! You'll destroy them all!'  
  
Suddenly, a dark figure, that had been hiding in the shadows up till now, leaped up and tackled Danae, throwing her to the floor. A hand is cupped over her mouth.  
  
'Mmmfle...Frooosshhy... Shoomf!!!' Danae screams through the hand.  
  



	11. The Weirdest Chapter Yet

  
  
A/N: This Chapter was written absolutely off the top of my head. Beware. Hmmmm. You know what? I haven't replied to reviewers yet! I most humbly beg all of your pardons!!! From now on, I'll try and respond to ALL of you. Does that make you want to review now??? Oh, and if I miss you, I'll respond to you TWICE next time.   
  
Yaargh! I'm still not done. Thought of one more thing. There might not be any updates next week... but then again, there might be... depends on how enthralled I am with my ROTK DVD, which comes out this Tuesday!!! Whoot!!!!  
  
IAM S.O.B.S: Hehe, You should start getting hardened to all the cliff- hangers. I assure you that there will be many more to come... evil laugh And who is on this chapter, I wonder...  
  
Swifthawk: I like Danae too. Thanks very much!!  
  
Chapter 11 The Weirdest Chapter Yet...  
  
'Get off of her, you Stupid Zing!!'' cries "Ze Merovingian".  
  
The figure slowly rises. S/he (?) is wearing a black cloak with a hood, which masks their face.  
  
Danae scrambles to her feet, and dusts herself off.  
  
'Who cleans this place, anyway? There's dirt a mile thick on that floor!'  
  
'Do you not want to know who I am?' asks the figure.  
  
'-No... Not really...'  
  
'No!' hisses the figure. 'You're supposed to say: "Who are you? Show yourself!!!" '  
  
'Ummm... okaaay... Who...are you... show... yourself...?'  
  
The figure lets out a frustrated sigh. 'More melodramatically! Get your heart into it, like this: Who are YOU??? SHOW YOURSELF!!!!!!'  
  
'Would you just go away?! I want to destroy Morpheus, and you just ruined my concentration in trying to remember the code.'  
  
'You're not supposed to want to destroy Morpheus!'  
  
'I'm not? Whose boss are you, anyway???'  
  
'Yours.'  
  
'You are?'  
  
'Yes. This is the first Apoc Mary-Sue, and it's got to be done RIGHT!'  
  
'Tell the Author that. Apoc's hardly even in this thing.'  
  
'Ah, no he's not... you see, the Author doesn't want to write Mary-Sues, so this fic will never become what it has the potential of being!! If you stay with what the Author wants you to do, you won't see Apoc until the Epilogue, which the Author has already written and is in a top-secret hiding place until she decides to stop this fic! But, if you just do what I want you to do, Apoc will come back into the story right away, and he'll save you from this deadly peril, and ride off with you into the sunset. Now, doesn't that sound nice?'  
  
Danae seems to be relenting.  
  
'You mean it?'  
  
'Yes. I always mean what I say.'  
  
'How the heck are you going to get the Author to write that?'  
  
'I'm not going to get the Author to write it.'  
  
'Then... we'll be stuck here for ever!!!'  
  
'No we won't. Listen. I'LL write the story from now on!!!'  
  
They hear a rumbling voice from somewhere saying: 'Not if I can help it...'  
  
'Shut up Author! This isn't your decision!'  
  
'Oh, it isn't, huh?'  
  
'This is Danae's. Now let this fic alone and let her decide for herself!!!'  
  
'You really want me to take my fingers off the keyboard and let her type? She doesn't even know how to!'  
  
'Let's try.'  
  
'Okay...'  
  
Author's note: At this point I will remove my fingers from the keyboard and let the heroine of this fanfiction do her own story-telling. Read at your own risk!!!!!  
  
Author's further note: At this point I will resume writing because my stupid heroine can't even enter the library where I'm sitting at the computer writing off the top of my head, let alone type on my keyboard. Thank you for your patience with my poor little Danae. But Dinner's almost ready, so I must leave. And I think it's a good point for a chapter ending. 


	12. The MarySue Factor

A/N: Yes, yes, my precious, we're back, yes we are, and not in black, although Danae wants to be in black, but you already read that part so I... I don't even know what I'm writing here! Umm... I think I'm schizophrenic. Seriously. Or not... meh, does it matter? Of course not. Every parody writer MUST have the Gollum factor... evil sniggering  
  
I'm just trying to use up space. That's all. You can skip the Author's note. But then again, if you're reading this, you're reading the author's note, so you can't skip it, and... I'll stop. I'm hungry. That's my problem. Must be. Stopping...... Apologies if this chapter stinketh. It WILL get better soon, I promise.  
  
I'm putting out the offer for a free Apoc plushie for all who review! I'll throw in a bowl of single-celled protein to boot!!! :D  
  
Note to IAMS.O.B.S: guess who's in this chapter? ;-)  
  
Kaileikehe: Well, remember me when you someday rule the world and make my fan-fictions to be world-wide read best-sellers, thank you very much!!!!! :D  
  
Kat-23: Whoo! Be nice to the Poor One! :-)  
  
Yaay! Chapter 12!  
  
Chapter 12 The Mary-Sue Factor  
  
There is a long, drawn-out pause. Danae has her eyes closed, it looks as if she's trying to bore a hole in the floor with her mind...  
  
Ze Merovingian sighs. 'Are you done yet? I don't sink it will work'  
  
'Quiet!' hisses the mysterious person. 'You'll ruin her concentration!'  
  
'I GIVE UP!' wails Danae. 'I'm trying to get rid of all of you, but it's not working!'  
  
Faint laughter from above  
  
Persephone sighs also. 'Adyone, take her to her room.'  
  
The mysterious figure glares at Persephone. 'You're not supposed to say my name in front of anyone.'  
  
'Do. As. I. Say!'  
  
'...all right... come on, Danae. You're going where we all end up'  
  
Danae frowns, but follows.  
  
They pass through the main 'hall', and Danae studies the floor, puzzled.  
  
'What's with the 'M'? Is it for 'Moron'?'  
  
'Very funny.'  
  
'Mary-Sue???'  
  
'Try harder.'  
  
'The Matrix?'  
  
'Oh, come on!'  
  
'Not until you tell me what 'M' is for!'  
  
'What do you think?! We're in the MEROVINGIAN'S HOUSE!!! DUH!'  
  
'It's for 'Merovingian'? Hmm. Nice decorating idea. Need to try it. Monogrammed floors, the next rage!!'  
  
They climb up some long flights of stairs, and stop in front of a large, imposing door.  
  
'This is it. Where we all end up. Please, come in.'  
  
Adyone opens the door, to reveal a large, finely decorated room, filled with...  
  
You guessed it...  
  
Teenage Mary-Sues.  
  
'hello!' 'hello!' 'hello!' They chime at our Heroine.  
  
'Is it just me, or is this somewhat like the Castle Anthrax?'  
  
'Castle What?'  
  
'You mean you've never seen Monty Python?'  
  
'Monty who?'  
  
'Sheesh. No wonder you're such a dork.'  
  
'Thank you.'  
  
'You're welcome. Hey, I haven't been able to do that in a long time!!'  
  
'Do what?'  
  
'The 'You're Welcome' routine!'  
  
'Not going to ask. Anyway, I suppose you are wondering what all of us are doing here, and who all these girls are?'  
  
'...sure...'  
  
'Then let me tell you. We are the heroines of every Mary-Sue fic that has been abandoned. We are brought here, to stay in this room, brush our perfect hair, gaze out the windows with our perfect green eyes, exfoliate our perfect smooth fair skin-'  
  
'Okay, I get the picture! You're perfect!'  
  
'Thank you for noticing!'  
  
'You're welcome. '  
  
Danae sits down on one of the many frilly beds. A random Mary-Sue sits down next to her.  
  
'May I ask you a question?' The Mary-Sue asks.  
  
'You just did. Yeah, sure.'  
  
'What kind are you?'  
  
'-What?'  
  
'What kind are you? Neo, Twins, Smith...?'  
  
'I don't get it.'  
  
'Who's your hero?'  
  
'Oh! You mean who's MY hero? Apoc. Oh, yes, Apoc's my man!'  
  
'Oh. Well, I'll say, you're the first! And another question: Why don't you look Mary-Sue?'  
  
Danae blinks.  
  
'Meaning...?'  
  
'You know, why don't you have long hair and green eyes? All Mary-Sue's must have that, you know. But you have shoulder-length-blunt-cut blonde hair, and grey eyes. That's not usual.'  
  
'It isn't? Gee, I thought I was pretty average.'  
  
'Well, your author must have some strange view on perfection; that's all I can say.'  
  
Our heroine stiffens. 'Am I to take that as an insult?' she asks coldly.  
  
'No, I'm just saying that you don't look like a Mary-Sue.'  
  
'Glad to hear it.'  
  
There is an awkward silence. Then our heroine asks:  
  
'What's the point of this, anyway? What are you doing here?'  
  
'Well, I'm actually a Lord of the Rings Mary-Sue. Genre: Legolas/Orlando. My author was an Orlando Bloom Stalker. () But I was put here by mistake, and I'm waiting to file my papers for a transfer.'  
  
'A what?'  
  
'A transfer. Abandoned LOTR Mary-Sues go to some random tower in Minas Tirith. Matrix Mary-Sues get locked up in the Merovingian's place.'  
  
'Riiight...'  
  
Danae gets up and walks over to the door. She tries to open it, but it is locked.  
  
'Hello! People! I want out!' She yells through the door. A voice from outside says:  
  
'I am not People!'  
  
'Well, what are you then?!'  
  
'A Program.'  
  
'What the heck is a program and can I go now?'  
  
'None of your business and NO!'  
  
'It. Is. Too. My. Business and YES! I'm not a Mary-Sue!' she begins to bang on the door.  
  
'You have to be one to be in there, missy.'  
  
'It was a stupid mistake and my name isn't MISSY!'  
  
'Tough.'  
  
'Rrrrggg...' Danae stops banging and turns to the Mary-Sues.  
  
'Anyone in the mood for a jailbreak?'   
  
More A/N: laughs evilly and cracks knuckles Mweeheehee...!! I love a good jailbreak! This fic is coming to an end within the next 5 chappies; look for Jailbreaks, more Twins, kung-fu and Prophecies unfulfilled, Millions of Mary-Sues and APOC! Will Danae fulfill her role as the Two? Can she do it without swamping her Apoc with Mary-Sues? Will the agents pry the Zion mainframe code out of her? Will she and Apoc live happily ever after? Find out as the finale approaches! And REVIEW! Please. :) 


	13. Rescue?

A/N: Whew, this has never happened to me before. I had writer's block. shakes fists at the evil Writer's Block Demon Must be the excuse for the last chapter. Yeah, it really stank. Sorry. Hands readers clothes pins And I can't do the little squiggly separation thing! Grrr. Oh well, I'll have to try something else...  
  
Luthien33: Hannon le! gives her bowl of single-ceiled protein  
  
)( )( )( ) (  
  
Chapter 13 Rescue?  
  
Meanwhile, back with our friends of the Nebuchadnezzar...  
  
'So, now what do we do?' asks Switch  
  
'Well, we try and rescue her.' Good ol' Morpheus always has an answer.  
  
'And how do you propose we do that? We don't even know where she is!'  
  
'...Good point...'  
  
They all sit down and try to think of where THEY would store an insane Teenager.  
  
'Deep, deep underground, in some abandoned, sealed-off salt mine.' Mumbles Mouse They all turn and glare at him.  
  
'-What?'  
  
'You're not helping.'  
  
'Can't blame a fellow for trying. Sheesh.'  
  
Suddenly, Cypher, who has been silent this whole time, jumps up shouting: 'I KNOW!'  
  
'Yes, you know a lot of things. Too many, actually.' Replies Trinity.  
  
'Gee, Trin, you know you're really hot when you talk like that?'  
  
Trinity edges away from him.  
  
'Don't get any ideas, Creep.'  
  
'Fine then. If you're gonna talk like that, I may as well defect.'  
  
'Good for you.'  
  
'We're not getting anywhere, people...' Snaps Apoc, breaking in. 'In my opinion, we should just leave her... save me a LOT of trouble...'  
  
'What, you don't WANT to be Dan's knight in Shining Armor?' Mouse grins at him  
  
'Ha-ha. Very funny. I say we vote. Whoever is for abandoning the Nut, raise their hand!'  
  
All hands reach for the sky.  
  
'Good,' says Morpheus. 'We agreed on something. Take note of that, my crew. If we all just work together, and try and get along...' He is smothered by his crew before he can preach anymore.  
  
At this moment, the Author realized that if this fic is going to go anywhere, the crew of the Neb can't leave our heroine. She decides to take drastic measures, and zaps everyone back into character. Morpheus whips our his cellphone.  
  
'Operator' says Tank.  
  
'We got trouble. We think that Danae has been kidnapped by the Agents. Can you find her?'  
  
'Hang on... wait, do you mean you're gonna actually try and RESCUE her?! Those are Agents holding her! I dunno how many of 'em. I want Dan back too, but what you're talking about is-'  
  
'Stop quoting yourself and do as I say.'  
  
'Yessir. Just as you say. Right away. No problem. On it.'  
  
A few minutes later...  
  
'Got her! She's not with the agents. I think she's been kidnapped by the Merovingian.'  
  
'Right.' Morpheus hangs up, then turns to his crew. 'We need a helicopter.'  
  
'A Helicopter? What for?' puzzles Neo, who is soundly hit over the head by Trinity.  
  
'To rescue Dan, dimwit.'  
  
'Oh. Where does one find a helicopter in the middle of the city?'  
  
'Good question...'  
  
Morpheus takes command. 'Everyone split up. Look for a helicopter. Come back here in an hour.'  
  
'Why a helicopter?' insists Neo  
  
'It's dramatic.'  
  
'Oh. Okay!' Neo flies off, the crew members split up and run all over the city looking for the dramatic helicopter.  
  
An hour later, the crew re-assembles, with no luck.  
  
'Well... I found something that might work instead...' Mouse says haltingly.  
  
'What?'  
  
'Lemmie show you.'  
  
They follow him to the outskirts of the city, and stop in front of a Ranch, with a big sign that reads: 'ATTACK LLAMAS SOLD HERE'  
  
'Attack... Llamas...?' gapes Switch  
  
'You find anything better?'  
  
'No...'  
  
They all troop into the ranch, causing quite a stir with their very cool outfits. They buy one llama each.  
  
Outside...  
  
'So. How does one ride an attack llama?'  
  
Trinity sighs, and calls Tank.  
  
'Operator.'  
  
'Tank, I need a pilot program for a 2-year-old-attack-llama. Hurry!'  
  
Trinity's eyes flutter as the information surges into her brain. She swings up onto hers. 'Let's go.'  
  
'Hey, wait for us!'  
  
)( )( )( ) ( 


	14. We are Getting What?

A/N: Hiya People. Yes, yes, it's been a veeery long time since the last update My apologies. :) Notes on title change: I never really liked the old one. So, a new one emerges. Tell me what you think of it in your MANY (hint hint) reviews. (wink wink)  
  
Ieva: Yeah, it's dedicated to you! :D Everyone, READ IEVA'S PARODIES!! They're the best. :)  
  
Kat-23: The Llamas. Hehe, that's a HUGE inside joke of both myself and a bunch of Friends... we have this insane love for Llamas. Don't ask. :D  
Chapter 14  
We are Getting- What..?  
  
'A Jailbreak?' hum the Mary-Sues.  
  
'Are you deaf or something? Yeah, I sad Jailbreak!'  
  
Adyone steps forward, hands on her hips. 'Sorry, we cannot do a jailbreak.'  
  
'Oh? And why, pray tell, is that?'  
  
'This isn't a Jail.'  
  
'For the love of chocolate and all pretty dresses, would you quit being so OBJECTIONALBLE?! Then let's do a Château-Break!!!!'  
  
'Okay. Sounds good. Get to it, girls!'  
  
The Mary-Sues jump into action, changing into Black Leather and sunglasses. They pull various weapons off the walls, mostly Samurai Swords. One of them approaches our heroine.  
  
'You can't do a Château-Break in those clothes, you realize.'  
  
'Heh, I shouldn't even be in the Matrix in these clothes! Got Leather and sunglasses?'  
  
'...No...'  
  
'Darn. Well, I'm still breaking out.'  
  
'But you don't look cool enough!'  
  
'So?'  
  
'Never mind.' The Mary-Sue begins to walk away, but Danae stops her.  
  
'What about my weapon?'  
  
'Sorry... there's only enough for us...'  
  
'Oh well. Hey, doesn't matter, 'cause I KNOW KUNG-FU!! Now, are we ready?'  
  
'Ready!' call the Mary-Sues in chorus.  
  
'Ok then. CHARGE!!'  
  
With that, Danae and the Mary-Sues break down the door, sweep past the guard, and begin to roar their way out. But there is a problem.  
  
'STOP RIGHT ZERE!! JUST VERE DO YOU ZINK YOU ARE GOING?!'  
  
'Out.' Replies Danae.  
  
Ze Merovingian places a hand on her shoulder.  
  
'Ah, but by 'Out', you must mean back to ze Mary-Sue ving, no?'  
  
'No. 'Out', as in Leaving this place.'  
  
'Vell, zat, I am afraid, I cannot allow. GAURDS!'  
  
Ze Merovingian's many henchmen come running in.  
  
'Take ze young ladies back to zere room immediately.'  
  
'I don't think so!' Shouts Adyone. 'Go get 'em, girls!'  
  
It is never wise to upset a Mary-Sue. A: Because they have awesome and mysterious powers. B: They fling horrible clichés everywhere just like a machine gun, and C: they really know Kung-Fu.  
  
The air is filled with imitations of Morpheus' "bring it" hand wave, and shouts of 'DODGE THIS!' Before long, Ze Merovingian's henchmen are utterly and completely defeated, lying on the floor groaning and moaning. As for Ze Merovingian, he is tied securely up.  
  
'Well, Mr. Merov, looks like it isn't a very great idea trying to keep a bunch of Mary-Sues away from their freedom, huh?' asks our triumphant heroine  
  
Ze Merovingian struggles in his bonds. 'You vill never get avay! I vill vin! You juzt vait and see!'  
  
'Yeah, right. I'm waiting.'  
  
'TWINS!! Get ze over here!!'  
  
'No. Swearing. Even. If. You're. A. Bad. Guy.'  
  
'Swearing? I juzt said four ''s!!'  
  
Danae sighs exasperatedly. 'I've gone over this with Neo. It IMPLYS a swear word; therefore, must not be used.'  
  
Suddenly, two ghostly figures sweep into the room, dreadlocks flying. The figures laugh menacingly.  
  
'We're back, and In Character this time! What is it, sir?'  
  
'Get zose idiot Mary-suez BACK to zere room NOW!'  
  
'Yessir. Right away!'  
  
'ONE!!' 'TWO!!!' screech the Twin-Genre Mary-Sues. Some squeal and giggle. Some jump up and down excitedly. Some faint at the sight of the object of their affections.  
  
'We are getting Fangirly!' squeals one.  
  
'Oh, yes we are!' echoes another. 


	15. She is the Two!

A/N: Wheee, yet another long time between updates. Sorry, but anywho, I'm finally updating. Enjoy!!! :D

Rage Aomori: heehee, I think you'll be happy when I say that the Twins will be in both this chappie and the next, but, alas, no more... :(

---------------------------

_Chapter 15_

_She is the Two!_

The Twins begin to advance on the girls, smirking. The Mary-Sues back against the wall, giggling at the prospect of dealing with such cute bad-guys.

"Oooh! Don't you just _love_ it when they do that?" breathes a random Mary-Sue with red hair.

"Do what?" asks our heroine

"That... smirk... have you ever seen anything like it?"

Danae looks the Twins up and down. "Yeah," she muses slowly, "I admit, they are kinda cute when they do that... not as cute as my Apoc, though..."

The Twins' very cool-looking switch-blades... razor-blades... whatever-the-heck-they-are-blades are drawn out, and our favorite cute bad-guys brandish them in a very cool-looking frighteningly way.

"Get back inside-"

"-The Mary-Sue wing-"

"-Now."

The Mary-Sues look at each other.

"We-ell..." puzzles one (a tall brunette). "There are two ways in Twin-genre-Mary-Sue-ishness that this could go. One, we act very much nice-and-meek-girl and submit to these rather frightening (but cute...!) men. Two, we go into not-so-complying-girl mode, and make 'em... _chase_ us!!!!" She squeals at the thought. The others start squealing as well.

"Oooh!!"

"Yes!!"

"Make 'em chase us!!!!!"

With that, the many Mary-Sues begin scampering about the hall, giggling and acting very Fangirly. Our heroine yawns and sits down on the floor to watch the fun.

One Mary-Sue finds herself trapped in a corner by Two, who grins and starts herding her towards the door that leads to the Mary-Sue wing. The Mary-Sue, however, lunges forward and plants a kiss on Two's cheek! With a cry of disgust, the cute albino assassin falls back, and said Mary-Sue dances away, screaming to the others about how she kissed Two. Upon hearing this, the rest of the Mary-Sues, not to be outdone, begin to converge upon the poor Twins, begging for kisses. The hunters suddenly find themselves the hunted!!

At that moment, sounds of gunfire can be heard from outside the door to the hall. Everyone turns, to find the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar enter in very cool style, riding upon 2-year-old attack llamas, brandishing various guns.

"All right!" booms Morpheus. "Hand over Danae, and no-one gets hurt!"

However, the second part of his speech is drowned out by the scream of rapture that comes from the Mary-Sues at the sight of you-know-who.

"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The crew of the Neb stare for a moment in horror at the sight of the crowd of rabid Mary-Sue-Fangirls. Then Apoc, upon sighting Danae, who is jumping up and down trying to see over the crowd of Mary-Sues, turns tail and runs for the nearest exit.

"NEO!!!!"

"NEO!!!!"

"NEO!!!!"

NNNNEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO!!!!" screech the Mary-Sues.

Neo gulps. "Trinity!" he shrieks, as the Mary-Sues begin to advance on the poor One. "...Help...!"

They lunge forward; Neo dodges, turns and twists, trying to evade the barrage of blown kisses, fanletters, and miscellaneous fangirly things. But he's not fast enough. One blown kiss hits him, he falls to the floor with a shout of dismay.

"!!!!!"

Danae has had enough with the implied swearing. With a cry of fury, she does a cool matrix-y-summersault-move across the floor over to Neo, eyes blazing. "No, no, no, no, no!! I've given you warning, Neo. You've implied one time too many, buster. Now you're gonna pay!"

Our heroine slowly draws out a spanking-paddle from the depths of her pocket.

"Noooo!!!" scream the Mary-Sues. "You can't spank our Neoooo!!!!" They begin to rush at Danae, veins popping, prepared to smite her with their great Mary-Sue power.

Things are not looking too good for the Heroine.

Danae calmly turns to face the hoard of Mary-Sues. We barely hear the softly spoken word...

"No."

She raises a hand, palm outward. All of a sudden, a strange and miraculous thing happens. The Mary-Sues slowly come to a quiet and obedient stop, as if...

The Neb's crew look in awe at Danae.

"How?!" gasps Switch.

_"She is the Two!"_ Morpheus replies slowly.

cue angelic music

---------------------------

A/N: Well, well, looks like we're almost to the end of this little parody of mine. But, there's one more chapter on the way, plus the Epilogue. I say "the epilogue". Well, what I really mean by that is the three epilogues.

Confused? Just you wait and see, my preciousss, just you wait... :D


	16. Tying up the loose Ends

A/N: Before I continue, I would like to state one thing I've just realized while writing this chapter. This fic does NOT fit into any kind of timeline relevant to the Matrix films. So if you're reading this, and are totally befuddled, that's why.

---------------------------

_Chapter 16_

_Tying up the loose Ends_

Danae grins. "Hey, this is really cool! Ha! And Neo can only stop bullets and Sentinels, heehee!"

Neo stiffens. "I rather think stopping bullets and Sentinels is pretty cool, so there!"

Suddenly, the door bursts open, and who should walk in but... you guessed it.

"Miss Barton! Mr. Anderson! The great Morpheus! The great Merovingian! We meet at last!"

"Smithie boy! Smith! Smith! Smith! Smithie!!!!!"

I think you can guess who says those lines...

"Hiya Smelrond."

"Mr. Anderson, don't tell me that you're taking the virus fans' name for me, and besides, your 'coat' looks like something a priest would wear."

"Does not!"

"IT DOES NOT!!!" Screech the Mary-Sues

Danae yawns. "Hate to disappoint y'all. But actually, it does."

Smelrond turns his attention from Neo to our Heroine. "Well, well, Miss Barton, what are you going to do now? No out-of-character Twins to save you now."

Danae giggles. "You know, you just ended two sentences with the word 'now'? It sounded awful funny."

Smelrond only chuckles in a not-too-happy way, ignoring her giggles. "You know, Miss Barton, that I can destroy you any time I want? That I can turn you into one of my most powerful copies?"

"Congratulations."

"Hey! That's my line!" Neo bursts out

"Shut up, Mr. Anderson." says Smith

"Shut up yourself."

"Shut up both of you! Now behave!" hisses Danae

"Yes ma'am."

"Good boys. Now, Smelrond, you were saying-?"

"It is inevitable."

"Ooohhh! Don't you just LOVE the way he says that?" breathe the Mary-Sues

"Would you just be quiet over there?" grumbles Danae "Now, Smelrond, I cannot allow you to turn me into another one of you. Okay?"

Smith smirks. "But you see, Miss Barton, it really wouldn't do for me to copy you."

"Glad to hear it. And why is that?"

"Because I like to draw the code to the Zion mainframe out of people with a good deal of melodrama. Turning you into me is too cool-looking. So, Miss Barton, please follow me and let me hack into your mind in order to get it out."

"Dude, if you seriously think that I'm dumb enough to follow you ANYWHERE, you are quite mistaken. But the Zion mainframe code now, yes... I'm not too sure... what I should do with it..."

Meanwhile, the Merovingian and Morpheus are getting angrier and angrier from not being allowed long, boring, philosophical speeches yet. Finally, Morpheus sees his chance.

"Well, Danae, that is why you were brought back into the Matrix. We knew you knew about the code, so we brought you back..."

Danae coughs. "Yes, you already said that..."

"... so that you could walk through the door, so that you could walk the path. I could only show them to you."

"Bravo."

Ze Merovingian, not to be outdone, begins to preach as well. "Yes, yes, Morpheus, but I do not sink zat she has realized anysing yet. Ze cause has happened, not we must vait for ze effect. It is all causality... action, reaction, cause and effect..."

"You know what guys? You're making zero sense here."

"Zat is ze general idea of ze long, boring, philosophical speeches, Ma Chérie."

"Okay. So, is there anyone in this room who knows how to explain everything in plain English?" Danae groans

Smith laughs. "Why you disappoint me, Miss Barton. Your purpose is obvious: an easy way to trap the rebels and the exiles, get the code for us..." Smith advances on our heroine.

The Merovingian ever so slightly begins to raise a finger to signal to his henchmen.

Danae stares at everyone. They're all her enemies. She's nothing but a tool. And. She. Must. Survive. She. Must. Prove. To. Apoc. That. She. Is. Better. Than. The. Rest. Now!

Danae turns her head slowly towards the Mary-Sues, then smiles.

"All right, girls. Say Bye-bye to nice cute Matrix hunks."

"What?? Why?" Adyone hisses.

"Because I have come to, or rather, the author has come to, realize my path as The Two. I am to free all the Mary-Sues from the Matrix, so buckle your seat-belts, ladies!"

Our heroine closes her eyes, as if concentrating really, really hard on some stupid Algebra problem. Suddenly, she jumps into the air, and flies straight into the crowd of Mary-Sues! Her voice, suddenly grown exceptionally loud, is heard echoing throughout the hall.

**"It is my proclamation that all the Mary-Sues shall return to their former homes, with no memory of these events! They shall then become the world's Mary-Sue fanfic writers, each to be freed at my whim! Be it so!!!"**

With that, there is a flash of neon-pink light, and all the Mary-Sues have disappeared, to become the many lovely Mary-Sue-prone authors of today.

Suddenly the scene changes, and we hear Danae's voice coming through a random telephone.

"I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid, you're afraid of us Parody-Sue's, afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how this is going to begin. I'm gonna hang up this phone, and then I'm gonna show the Mary-Sues what you don't want them to see. I'm gonna show them a world without Neo. A world without sappy romances, without perfections, awesome powers, long hair and green eyes, a world where anything isn't possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you."

We see the Heroine stride out of the phone booth, finally clad in black leather. But still no sunglasses. She sighs, frustrated, and yanks out her cell phone.

"Tank, where in Middle-Earth are my sunglasses? Why do I still not get any??" She demands.

" 'Cause you're the Two. Remember?"

"Rrrrrggg..."

_Who knows? If you write Mary-Sues, you may be one day freed by Danae. Just wait and see._

(Cue end credits, Wake Up and Rock is Dead start blaring. The Author runs screaming off, hands over her ears.)

The End.

A/N: But not quite!! Read the epilogues I've included, each with their own personal ending. Review whichever one you like best!

---------------------------


	17. Epilogue 1

---------------------------

_Epilogue #1_

_Parody Ending_

"I'm tired Trinity. Tired of this war, tired of fighting, being cold and..."

Danae, hiding behind her Apoc's chair, starts mimicking him silently.

"...I disagree, Trinity. I think that the Matrix can be more real than this world." Cypher the Creepy begins to advance on poor Apoc. "All I do is pull a plug here. There, you have to watch Apoc die."

Kscrink.

Beeeeep.

The sound of being unplugged.

The sound of murder.

Our heroine's eyes bulge, and she muffles a scream as Cypher the Hated murders Apoc. Her eyes narrow, and fists clench as she quietly follows Cypher around the Main Deck.

"... All I want is a little yes or no. Come on."

Danae slumps down on the ground next to Tank's body. This is a parody. It's not supposed to work out like this... suddenly, an evil grin lights up her face.

"Idiot Cypher! Tank's not dead! And he goes and drops the gun next to him!" She begins to poke and prod Tank into wakefulness, and starts whispering to him to plant the idea of revenge in his brain.

"...Look into his eyes. Those big, pretty eyes. And tell me. Yes or No."

Tank still wouldn't budge.

"Arrg! WAKE UP!" As happens in all great Mary-Sue fics, a pin magically is sitting next to Danae. She grabs it and sticks Tank in the leg. He lunges up, grabbing the gun-thingy and muttering murder upon she who poked him.

"I don't believe it!" Gasps Danae

"I don't believe it!" Gasps Cypher

"Believe it or not, you're still gonna burn!"

Just in time, Danae throws herself on the ground, dodging the ray of electricity. Said ray hits Cypher. Yaay.

But we still have the problem of a dead Apoc.

"Heck, no problem. I BELIEVE HE'S NOT DEAD!"

Apoc sits up slowly. His eyes gleam red, and he looks a little transparent...

"Aaaaa! Demon Apoc! Demon Apoc! Run away!!!" Danae sprints off, leaving what's left of the Neb's crew alone to deal with the ghost of Apoc.

The End.

---------------------------


	18. Epilogue 2

---------------------------

_Epilogue #2_

_Tragic Ending_

It was a year after the events of the main fic that the tragic news was brought to Danae. She had been living with the other orphans, along with the other Mary-Sues, when the Nebuchadnezzar landed in Zion... with only four crew members still alive.

Danae stood stock-still, staring hopefully into the ship's interior for hours after everyone else had left, hoping, waiting, waiting for that which would never come.

"No, please, Apoc... you must come out... you must..."

A guard comes over to our heroine and places a hand on her shoulder. "It's late, hon. Come on. He's not coming back."

Danae turns slowly to face him.

"Why?" She asks, trembling. "Why can't he come back?"

"That's the way war is, sugar. I'm sorry this had to happen to you, everyone knows how much you cared for him." He did not, however, add that everyone knew how little he had cared for her.

Danae nodded and took a deep breath. "He never loved me in the way I loved him. I know that now. If he had, he would've come back." She suddenly fell to her knees, whispering: "I shall never love again."

With that, she ran off into the depths of Zion, as swiftly as if she somehow knew her Apoc was somewhere in there, calling her. Calling her home.

The End.

A/N: All together now; one, two, three:

AWWWWW!!!!! :'(

Next one's more cheerful, I promise. :)

---------------------------


	19. Epilogue 3

---------------------------

_Epilogue #3_

_Mary-Sue Ending_

A/N: Seriously, I didn't write this. I think Adyone did. ;)

"... All I do is pull a plug here. There, you have to watch Apoc die."

"Apoc..."

He is murdered.

In cold blood.

The love of her life,

her life,

her soul,

a part of her, cut off.

Later, Danae sits slumped by Apoc's side. A single tear trickles slowly down her fair face. She leans forward, whispering to her dead love.

"Apoc... I'm not afraid anymore. I always knew that I would fall in love, and now I know that that man... the man that I would love would be you." She slowly breathes in deeply. "So you see, you can't be dead. You can't be. Because I love you. You hear me? I love you!" Danae slowly bent down, and kissed him ever so lightly.

(A/N: One, two, three: EWWWWWWW!!!!!)

Apoc's dark brown eyes suddenly opened, looking straight into her own deep gray ones. She gasped. It couldn't be true! HE was alive! He was!

Apoc smiled at her, then drew her into his arms, and kissed her deeply to the same music Will and Elizabeth do in Pirates of the Caribbean.

The End.

---------------------------

A/N: Danae's not dead! Read more of Miss Barton's story—coming very, very soon. Hopefully, you can go to my profile and find the sequel, but don't go hunting for it in the Matrix section... (evil laugh) It's in the Master and Commander section. Why is that, you may well ask? Well, why don't you read it and find out? :)


End file.
